Кстати, книга же выходит. "Very British Problems". Куплю! Pre-order можно сделать прямо сейчас, хотя смысл?

"Really, it's fine." Translation: "You have 10 seconds to leave the room before I spontaneously combust."

Noticing somebody smiling at you and wondering what on earth must be wrong with your face.

Worrying you've accidentally packed 3 kilos of cocaine and a dead goat as you stroll through "Nothing to declare".

Walking through open barriers at a train station as if smuggling drugs through customs, despite having a ticket.

Wondering whether to hurl yourself through a window when someone sits next to you on an empty bus.

Watching sadly as someone presses the lift button you've clearly just pressed.

Getting stuck holding a door and watching forlornly as your friends disappear over the horizon.

Receiving an email ending in "regards" and wondering what you've done to cause so much anger.

Straining not to thank the waiter for every small item he clears, so you can deliver one big thanks at the end.

The horror of quietly telling your neighbouring diner a joke and, without warning, the whole table listens in.

Striding off in the direction the stranger has just sent you, despite having instantly forgotten every instruction after "turn right".

Assuring your hairdresser the water temperature is fine, despite a strong suspicion your scalp is beginning to melt.